My inner thoughts,secrets.

Im nothing but human.
And I just dont wanna be alone. Not right now.

Håller jag på att krascha igen eller är det så här det är att leva? Varför kan det aldrig vara lätt...
There is simply no giving up, failure is not an option for me.
Men vägen förbi är alltid så förbannat lång, och jag är trött på att gå samma väg om och om igen. Ensam.

Det borde vara lättare... Det vet jag.

Why do I feel so different?
I feel so old. So old emotional. Out of this world. Out of this place. Out of reach. Out of touch. I feel like Im doomed to walk alone with all this I carry within. Its a feeling that follows me everywhere I go, all my waking hours. I know you dont understand, no one does. They never have, or they never wanted.
"Youre a mistery", someone once said to me. 
Maybe Im a puzzle, too hard to figure out, so people just give up. Or maybe Im unsolvable. Scary thoughts.

There is no catching before I fall. There is only raising again.
So there is really no point of screaming for help, I know that by now. There is no hand reaching out, there is no helping hand, there is only me. But the last thing that goes away is hope, and hope is all I got left.

You know, sometimes I wish I didnt know better. What you dont know, doesnt hurt you. 


Im blessed with a curse...

"Youre mad, bonkers...

But Ill tell you a secret - all the best people are."

I would love to be normal though...